The semiotics of Scottish island behavior

As I was just saying in my email to Erika (who faithfully reads this blog, so shout out to her! :-)), I feel like I'm stuck in a semiotic limbo with regards to deciphering some of the everyday interactions I'm having. In other words, just what do thing say/do mean?

Here are some of my most urgent questions:

*When people invite you to dinner/tea, do they really mean it or are you supposed to turn them down several times before accepting or are you supposed to turn them down completely?

*Similarly, when someone starts to make tea about 1 1/2 hours into your visit, does that mean that you've actually been staying too long and they're breaking down to offer you some tea, or is that just the amount of time after which tea gets served?

*Would it be polite or an affront for a younger person like myself to pass candy to older people in church? What if you don't have enough candy with you for everyone in the pew? What if someone passes you candy and you don't like it and/or you brought your own?

*When people tell you to stop by any time, do they really mean it? And what are socially acceptable visiting hours?

*When are socially acceptable phone hours? (E.g. in Germany you simply cannot call anyone between 8 and 8:15 pm when the news are on)

It's really all very confusing. As they like to say, more research needs to be done!